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New Opportunity! Recruitment Consulting Vacancy
How resilient are you? If you can adequately cope with the following litany of damage, call us now! Keep reading to the end and you'll see why our senior consultant quit today, creating this vacancy. A couple of weeks ago, this senior consultant was heard to say, "I've seen them all. All the ways a recruiter can miss a placement." A bold comment indeed, but backed up by an impressive array of abject failures, including: The South African engineer, who, when contacted on his very first day in his first job in New Zealand, was moved to tell the consultant that he was "having a bit of an emotional crisis and I'm catching the next plane home.........." Our former consultant was very pleased to note that, in his disgust as he threw the cellphone onto the dashboard and started a profane tirade about Japie &^%$s, he had forgotten to end the call and that the said Japie &^%$ got to listen to a valued personal opinion of him. There are always the mundane fall-offs: hated the boss, someone else offered more money the week after starting work, smashed up the truck on the first day or the worker actually turning out to be a dunce, but among them there are some real doozies, the likes of which couldn't be expected. The ones where companies suddenly refuse to pay, candidates change their mind at the last second, or even the guy who had been given the job only for him to fail the drug test! Then, only two weeks ago, a candidate two days into his new job and enjoying it immensely, dying that night! This particular method of missing a placement occurred some three days after the bold statement above, so our former employee was encouraged to update his comment to, "Well, there was a new one after all. If there are any more that I haven't yet seen, I will give up, quit, finis, throw in the towel, lay down......" From the dirty dealings of a [lily-livered, snivelling little nonce of a] minion changing recruiters mid-stream (and after considerable expenditure), to the companies which hang out for weeks on the promise of potential job offers which never arrive, to the company which initially tried to deny it had ever heard of the consultant, our consultant was now, finally certain that he had seen them all. Recourse to the Disputes Tribunal has been a successful option in some of these cases, with one glaring exception, the one where our consultant was so obviously correct that his attitude was seen as arrogant by the adjudicator - a longstanding career woman in the service of a Government Department. The defendant just happened to be a longstanding career woman in the service of a Government Department. Maybe our consultant could have thought that one through a bit better! The means of missing a placement fee have been honed to such an extent that our consultant even lost a placement to a particularly tardy payer when the fee had been owing for long enough for the placed person to go and die of AIDS-related pneumonia! Then, in April 2006, comes the final straw for our consultant. A placement with a transport company - not a huge one, but a nice "bread and butter" transactional placement. The candidate is due to start Monday 24th April. Friday 21st April, 10-30am. Our consultant's trusty diverted phone rings and is answered, at which stage he is told that the caller - this particular employer - has realised that the job offer has all been a big, fat mistake and they don't want to hire anyone! Being the resourceful, intelligent chap he is [was], our former consultant made sufficient phone calls to enable the unfortunate candidate to get another job immediately, (at no fee, of course) after which, our trusty former consultant handed back his badge. Multi-tasking candidates looking for an unusual and varied career are welcome to apply for this unique vacancy, at this link, or phone us on 579 9111. Sometimes, you may even get paid for a placement! Experience of any type may be suitable as recruitment consultants come from all areas of life, however members of the Auckland BDSM club with a penchant for masochism are most welcome.
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